Monday, July 21, 2008

Never, ever say "Never"

I just got my job-share teaching contract for next year in the mail.... which means....

Not only will I continue to teach first graders 3 days a week like I've been doing, which is what I absolutely LOVE ; it also means that in a few short weeks, summer vacation is over and school begins for my own boys.

Since we decided at the end of last year that the boys wouldn't be returning to the private school that they were at, we really need to nail down what the plan is going to be for next year. It's a much harder decision for me than Tony because I just "NEVER" thought they would ever go anywhere else. BVG was not only just their school, it's also where we go to church. The church that I've gone to for the last 30 years! I just "NEVER" dreamed that my kindergartner wouldn't graduate at 18 as a Senior with most of the same kids he graduated from Kindergarten with at 5, just like I did. I wanted that for them... and I'm sad that it's not going t be like that for them.

But... God has a sense of humor... a way of bringing you to a place where you never thought you'd be... just to show you how very little control you really have.

My 4 boys are so different... in so many ways... not the least of which is apparent with their needs for school. So, in our effort to do what is best for them individually...

Kyle wants to stay at BVG another year... so for now, we've agreed. (ahh, my baby... in Jr. HIGH... urggggg)

And although all three of our boys actually got into the new charter school that we've be praying they'd get into... we've decided that only our first and third grader will go.

But my fourth grader... daddy's little all-star... my little wonder boy... He "gets" to be home schooled.

cough, gasp... ^(*^(%*()_...

WHAT???

I 'always' said that "I would NEVER" do that... but; here I am ... eating that phrase; yet again.

I'm notorious for having to eat those words... (You'd think I'd learn, and stop using it!)

I said I would "NEVER" marry Tony.
I said I would "NEVER" live in Mo Town.
I said I would "NEVER" home-school!!!!
The year Kyle started school, AJ was in pre-school across town, and the 2 little ones were at 2 other places and I DISTINCTLY remember swearing (usually with lots of tears) that I would NEVER, ever agree to anything that committed me to going 4 different directions in the morning before work.

The list of things I said I'd NEVER do could go on forever--

But, here I am... and I'm praying that I'm doing what's best for each of them; because the truth of the matter is:

The older the boys get, the more I realize that life isn't about convenience or ease. For me or for them. The decisions we make for our kids shouldn't be about what 'we' want for them, but by what we know will be best for them... even if that means I have to do things I said I'd NEVER do.

AND... I hope that when my kids are deciding what old folks to put their father and I in when we're not-so-old, but very senile... I hope they NEVER forget how much I love them!!!

32 comments:

Melissa said...

Thanks for visitng me! I am like you having said alot of "Nevers" but sometimes God has other plans for us beyond what we can even comprehend, and you're right I think he does have a super sense of humor. LOL

Mom24 said...

Isn't it amazing how many "nevers" we end up doing? I wish you luck. It sounds like life at your house is going to be a little crazy in the mornings! What a great example of loving parenting you are setting for your boys.

Karen said...

Yep I'm right there with you! "Nevers" get me all the time!

Misty said...

I'm aware that this situation is rare. Not the abuse, but the outcome. I lived this story for 16 years of my life, minus drug use in my home. But. In the next breath. It's not too much to ask for some one to take the time to love a child. Perhaps they can't swoop in and rescue them, BUT, they can be kind. They can be loving. They can show a child that they have value. I'm also aware of how flawed Child Protective Services is. I know many, MANY child go neglected and unnoticed. Many children live beaten AND abused. I did. Even as a teen in high school. But, I stand by what I've challenged - - FIND a way to help. FIND a way to make a difference. As I am aware you have found a way, yourself, to help. Miracles happen. Even the tiny ones we don't get to see first hand. I know the random acts of love and kindness that fell into my lap when I was a child helped me to feel whole, even if only for a short time. It's important for me, to give that to some one else. If some one doesn't know what to do - seek counsel. Get help from the authorities. Ask the questions. Find a way to pass your light on to a child in need. Children are our future. They are innocent and worthy of this goal.

Thanks for stopping by, and thank you for the work you do.

Washington Cowgirl said...

I just don't use the word "never" anymore. That way I don't look like a liar or a hypocrite.
I once said I'd never have a blog, now my husband calls me a blogging nerd!

PS: Five boys (I guess your hubby counts as a man, not a boy..) to take care of, I'm having a hard enough time with my one (and he's my husband). Good Job, stay strong and enjoy the memories!

Danette said...

I've been there--I was NEVER going to own a minivan and NEVER homeschool--I ate my words on both of those! Also, I job shared (4th grade)when I was expecting my second child--I LOVED it--I taught every Thursday and Friday and we alternated Wednesdays...it was a huge blessing for me to be able to do that and it worked for our family at the time, good luck! I always get sentimental when August comes around! But now I'm homeschooling 3 of my 4 so my "teacher" is coming out! Good luck with the year, you said some wise things about why we do what we do, that encouraged me today :) Thanks!
Danette

jennifer said...

Wow, home schooling when you said that was never going to happen! I'm sure you'll do wonderfully well at it. Love your ending lines too.

I am Boymom said...

AAUUGGHH!!! I have been there with the different directions and am there again with the possibility of homeschooling, which I said I would never do. But like you said...life isn't always about convenience. Good luck, we can compare notes as the year goes on!!

Stephanie said...

Oh, this choosing a school thing is harder than it looks! We're already struggling with the decision, and our son is only 2! Actually, he's not 2 for another few months. So maybe we're borrowing trouble here, but it's already on our minds. Private school? Yes! But which one? Oh, the horror...
Best of wishes to you and your family. I'm sure the new school arrangements will turn out just fine;)
Good luck with that home school thing...not sure I could do that...

The Farmer Files said...

WOW just popped over to your blog...I have two boys, but reading your blog....wow you are an inspiration!! Saw your post on scrapbooking...WOW can't believe how many books you have done!!

FYI...I am moving back to CA after living the last 3 years in Hawaii...just read your post about weening your baby...my#2's middle name is Kaden. LOL. And I taught for 7 years before staying home...would love to go back someday and job share.

Anyway...gonna bookmark you!!

Amanda said...

We can only try to what is best for our boys, and even if that means doing the things we said we would never do!!
Love,
Amanda xx

The Joys of having Boys said...

Wow, I know I keep learning that lesson too. Never say never. Welcome to the world of homeschooling. Your boys have a wonderful mom to take the time to do what you feel is best for each of them.

Juliness said...

That 'Never' Lesson is a tough one to learn, isn't it? I find myself having to umm, *re-think* things on a regular basis these days. :-)

PS Gave you a shout out today at F&S...pics of the beautiful baby book too. It is truly remarkable - you have an amazing gift.

Christie said...

Hi! I saw your blog title and had to come for a visit. I have four boys as well. =) We're are actually homeschooling for the first time too this year.
Anyway I hope you have a great Monday!

sarah said...

school decisions are so hard! i am right there with you!

enjoy the last few weeks of your vacation!!!!

Kristen said...

I am thinking that is the mom mantra. Eating your "I would Never" words.

Sounds like you are at peace with all of your decisions, and can't wait to read about your journey along the way! :)

Queen to my 3 Boys said...

Oh yes, the never say never thing. You'd think we'd all learn!

BTW, they will remember how much we love them. That's the thing about boys...you'll be their queen forever! *wink*

Cheffie-Mom said...

Everything happens for a reason. You are on a path (: My son is going to be a freshman and I cannot believe it! Just yesterday he was a toddler! Speaking of my son Kyle, I just posted a cute blog about him! Stop by and check it out.

Rachel said...

Thanks for stopping by! I'm impressed after looking through your blog. 4 boys AND a husband that cooks????? Amazing!

"Never" has always managed to come back to me as well; maybe it's God's way of showing that HE is in control . . . not our nevers!

I really enjoyed your blog!!!

Tam said...

Thanks for commenting on my blog!

Rach (Mommy Learns to Blog) said...

I think we all learn as we get older that we should never say never! Thanks for stopping by my blog - I wanted to pop over and visit and I will be sure to add you to my never ending reader - I swear someday I'll get to the bottom of it! Great to meet you!

Rach (Mommy Learns to Blog) said...

I think we all learn as we get older that we should never say never! Thanks for stopping by my blog - I wanted to pop over and visit and I will be sure to add you to my never ending reader - I swear someday I'll get to the bottom of it! Great to meet you!

momto3cubs said...

I went through something similar a year ago. I pulled the last of my boys from the Christian church/school they started out at, where I thought they'd be attending until the end. For one year I was juggling three different schools with my three boys. It was not fun, let me tell ya! Way too much to keep track of. Last year they were all in public school for the first time, and all on the same schedule, whew. I have a feeling more school changes will come in future years...

Elaine A. said...

Wow, you are going to be busy in the fall but it will be worth it. Good luck and sending prayers that it all works out.

Anonymous said...

I just came over from the PW blog,
and HAVE to ask - you left a comment LOL, regarding Ree's post
about her beloved dog Nell who
has gone missing.
I'll be back - can you explain
the LOL to me ?
I just read one post of yours and you seem unlikely to leave anything
that heartless? Was it an error ?
Can you explain, please ?

Thank you,

A dog lover who really wants to understand how there would be anything LOL about this sad, sad
situation, happening to such a beautiful family.

Christie said...

Good morning!

My boys are 10, 4, 2, and 3 months so only the 10 year old is officially "in school." He is in 5th grade, although I think we're speeding through. He's reading and language arts level is more 6-7th grade. He'll probably be in 6th grade before too long.

I could probably start my 4 yr old in kindie this year but nothing official since he couldn't attend public school this year. He is learning to read right now (his request).

I say my 2 yr old is also in school just to appease his desire to be like his big brothers. lol So I suppose that would be pre-pre-preschool. =)

My littlest guy is content being just a baby for now! =)

Kim - ScrapToMyLu said...

ahh, the school dilemma. I don't think I'd be very good at home schooling, although I think it would be awesome at the same time. Sometimes I don't think the teachers "get" who my son really is....just get your work done.

Thanks for stopping by.

The Joys of having Boys said...

I saw your comment on my blog and as far as suggestions go about homeschooling. That is a hard one. Every homeschool family is different, it depends on the child the family's schedule, what you want them to learn, how they will learn best, etc.. I know for me I use My Father's World curriculum and I do love it. I know that was not much help, but you will get into the swing of things and know how you want it to look and so on.

Tanya said...

Glad you stopped by my blog! Yours is lovely and I've enjoyed reading and seeing pictures of your boys - you have a lovely family. And MY the food - good thing I'm stuffed from dinner because it all looked so good. LOL

Tanya, who NEEDS to scrap again - misses it terribly

Julie from Homeschooling-Ideas said...

Yay! Welcome to homeschooling! It is a really wonderful gift to give your child.
Thanks for the comment on my blog.
Julie.

Heather said...

Thank you for your sweet words of affirmation!! :) I guess that is my love language! I am going to homeschool my children when they get older (but won't rule out private school completely). I'm going to blog on it in the upcoming week(s). Have a wonderful week and keep lathering their love gifts on your boys!

Michelle said...

Such a sweet post. It sounds like you love your boys a lot. It's always nice to hear that parents are really involved with their kids. I think it's great that you're home schooling. What a challenge. I have a girlfriend who has started this. Let me know how it goes.